Developing Emotional Intelligence in Children Through Everyday Moments

Everyone is talking about emotional intelligence (EQ). What is it, and why does it matter? By definition, emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions while also responding thoughtfully to the emotions of others. In practice, this might look like a child comforting his friend who is crying or a child using words to express her anger instead of crying or lashing out.

It must be understood that emotional intelligence is a learned skill. It is not inbuilt. One must be taught through examples, discussions, and connections. Today, emotional intelligence is as important as being able to read and write. It is the guiding force behind thoughts, behaviors, and actions that shape how a child grows and interacts with the world. According to research, emotionally intelligent children form stronger relationships, navigate challenges better, and are more adaptive to change.

Parents have a crucial role in inculcating this skill into young children. The good part is that we do not need any elaborate preparation. Simple, daily routines hold great power. So, let’s look at a few everyday moments that lend themselves to developing emotional intelligence in children.

Parenting For Social Emotional Learning

• Name the Feelings, Don’t Dismiss Them 

A key pillar of emotional intelligence is the identification and expression of feelings. Children may not always understand what they are feeling and how to channel the feeling appropriately. These are big lessons for young children that require parental guidance. Therefore, if a child is angry or upset, use questions to help them recognize their feelings and name them. Offer suggestions on how they could handle those feelings or act upon them to make things better. This is how we provide them with the language to communicate and express their feelings.

• Create a ‘Feelings Corner’ at Home

Many parents already have something like this known as ‘the time-out corner.’ An effective alternative to punishment, it allows a child to calm down and reflect on a situation. A ‘feelings corner’ has a similar purpose. Encourage your child to go there when they feel upset, angry, or overstimulated. You could keep their favorite toys or art supplies there to help them regulate themselves and have an emotional reset. A safe space can give them control over how they want to address the situation while allowing them time to themselves.

• Use Stories and Media as Mirrors

Perspective is an essential part of empathy building for toddlers and preschoolers. ‘Why someone behaved in a certain manner’ or ‘what the child would do in a situation’ are emotional lessons waiting to be explored. Books, stories, and animated movies lend themselves beautifully to these lessons. The ability to see through another’s eyes or put yourself in another’s shoes helps in nurturing kindness and empathy in children. In India, we have stories like Jataka Tales and Panchatantra which have moral stories packed with such values.

• Teach the Pause

Impulsiveness is often the reason for many unkind behaviors. While incorporating kindness into daily routines, teach children the importance of pausing. This will give them a moment to breathe before responding or reacting, which could make all the difference in challenging situations. You can even teach this as a game. For instance, say, “Let’s freeze like a statue for a few moments.” Over time, this tiny pause can act as an emotional anchor, willing them to communicate instead of exploding.

Raising Emotionally Aware Children

In an age where we are raising children to tackle the real-world and the digital world, teaching emotional intelligence has become ever so important. These everyday moments of learning can guide our children to become resilient, thoughtful individuals who are not just smart but also kind and empathetic human beings.

As parents and caregivers, use the opportunity to give a tight hug after every meltdown, share laughs together after tough days, and use calm conversations after conflicts to build the blocks to your child’s emotional world. These ordinary moments are the guiding light for extraordinary growth.

At Dibber: Learning with Heart

At Dibber, every interaction, from circle time to outdoor play, is designed to help children understand their feelings, respect others, and express kindness naturally. We believe that when children learn with their hearts first, they grow into confident, compassionate individuals who make the world around them a little better.